Pirates of the Caribbean: The Musical!
by xoxolovebug
Summary: Jack feels unloved...so the crew sings him a song! From there, chaos and more singing ensues! Please R&R! Inspired by the fic lord of the rings, THE MUSICAL. Warning: no plot whatsoever! IMPORTANT UPDATE!
1. Jack!

**Jack sees Will and Elizabeth being all mushy and romantic, and he feels left out. So the crew, Will and Elizabeth sing him a little something. Dedicated to the great Captain Jack Sparrow!! Captain of the Black Pearl!! My first attempt at humor, so please be nice. Hehehe...I don't own anything, the voices in my head do. Savvy? This may turn into a musical...it depends...mostly on the number of reviews I get for this hint hint one of those infomercial girls comes out: Thisficisnotresponsibleforanydamagetothereaders. **

It was a beautiful, sunny, cloudless, day on the Black Pearl...A normal day...

Will: I love you, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: I love you, Will.

_**(kiss)**_

Jack: _**(groan)**_ ).(

**_(Bored, Jack walks over to Anamaria, who is at the wheel.)_**

Jack: 'Ello, Anamaria.

Anamaria: (**_raises hand)_** What d'YOU want?!?!?! -.-

Jack: O.o Hehehe...nothin'...to self Just smile, nod, an' back away slowly...

_**4 hours later...**_

Will: I love you, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: I love you, Will.

Jack: I love YOU, rum.

Will and Elizabeth: O.o

Jack: Wha'?

Will: Ummm....Jack, did you just say "I love you" to your rum?

Jack: Yes, ye' I did. You got a problem with tha'?

Elizabeth: We-ell.....

Jack: **_(sarcastically)_** I feel loved....stalks off

_**Later...**_

Jack: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong **pirate**!  
  
Gibbs: **_(fiddling with something absentmindedly)_** Darn right!  
  
Jack: No one tries to slap Captain Jack Sparrow! Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.  
  
Gibbs: But-but wha' 'bout Giselle, and Scarlett an' all th' other....

Jack: **_(glare) _**-.-

Gibbs: Hehehe...never mind...more rum?

Jack: Wha' for? Nothin' 'elps. I'm disgraced.

Elizabeth: **_(whispers to Will)_** He turned down _RUM_!! This can't be good....

Jack: I's just...I...I feel unloved!!!

Will: Who, you? Never! Jack, you've got to pull yourself together.  
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Jack

Anamaria: **_(under her breath)_** Damn righ' it does!

Will: **_(Ahem) _**Continuing...**_(pointed glare at Anamaria)_**

Looking so down in the dumps

Elizabeth: Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Jack  
Even when taking your...err...lumps

Gibbs: There's no man on board as admired as you  
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy  
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you  
And it's not very hard to see whyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Anamaria: Yes it is!!

Jack: -.-

Will: Noooo...oooone's... slick as Jack  
No one's quick as Jack  
No one's hair is as incredibly thick as Jack's  
For there's no pirate in town half as pirate...ly

Elizabeth: Perfect, a pure paragon!

Gibbs: You can ask any pirate out there  
And they'll tell you whose ship they prefer to be on

Will: No one's been around like Jack

Anamaria: -.- **_(turns on Jack)_** You wanna explain tha' one?...

Jack: O.o He...he...wha'd I do?

Elizabeth: A captain like Jack  
No one's got beaded hair like Jack

Jack: As a pirate, yes, I'm intimidating!

Gibbs, Will and Elizabeth: My what a guy, that Jack!  
Give five "hurrahs!"  
Give twelve "hip-hips!"

Gibbs: Jack is th' best  
And the rest is all t' rest

Will: No one drinks like Jack  
Commandeers ships like Jack

Elizabeth: For there's no one as burly and brawny

Jack: As you ca' see I've got much to spare

Gibbs: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny  
  
Jack: Tha's right!  
An' ev'ry last inch of me's covered with 'air

Anamaria: Thanks for sharing...

Elizabeth: No one gets slapped like Jack  
Matches wits like Jack!

Will: In a drinking match nobody drinks like Jack!

Jack: When I wa' a lad I drank four bottles of rum  
Ev'ry mornin' to help me ge' loot  
And now tha' I'm grown I drink five bottles o' rum  
So I'm roughly as drunk as a coot

Elizabeth: No one fights like Jack  
Wears those hats like Jack  
Then goes tromping around stealing treasure like Jack

Jack: I use gold in all of my decorating!!

Will: Say it loud

Who's the captain and proud?

Elizabeth: And I'll say it once more

Who's the hero next door?

Jack: Why thank you, lass

Anamaria: Hero? Some hero!

Elizabeth: Who's a super success?

Don't you know?

Can't you guess?

Gibbs: And his name's

J-A-C

Q

J-AC-Q

J-A-C-K

gives up

Gibbs: Ahh

Entire crew: JAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!

Jack: IT'S CAPTAIN JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -.- tries to run off

Anamaria: After we did that for you, you have the nerve? **_(slap)_**

Jack: **_(rubs the spot where he got slapped)_** Not sure I deserved tha'...

**A/N - Sooo...Please review!!! (_pause)_ I'll give you chocolate!! I MIGHT continue with this and turn it into a musical...if I get enough good reviews..._(Bugs Bunny appears)_ Eh, that's all folks!**


	2. I Won't Say I'm In Love

**Back by popular demand..._(drumroll) _This fic!! -.- Okay, that was lame. I blame the humor in this story on the author Aphy, who 'as rubbed off on me...for that I say...THANKS!! .**

**_(Elizabeth runs on deck)_**

Jack: _**(looks up)**_ Elizabeth? What's wrong?

Elizabeth: _**(breathing hard)**_ I...I...I'm in love!!!!!!

Jack: Why Elizabeth, I didn't know you cared!

Elizabeth: -.- **_(tries to slap Jack)_**

Jack: AHHH!!! **_(ducks)_**

**_(music starts)_**

Jack: **_(looks up)_** Where's the music coming from? Is that a plane? The music's coming from the plane, isn't it? **(A/N Sorry, had to add that .)**

Elizabeth: **(_smug grin_)**

Elizabeth: If there's a prize for rotten judgment

I guess I've already won that

No man is worth the aggravation

That ancient history,

Been there done that

Jack, Gibbs and Cotton: Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'

He's the Earth and heaven to you

Try to keep it hidden

Honey, we can see right through you

Girl, ya can't conceal it

We know how ya feel and

Who you're thinking of

Elizabeth: No chance, no way

I won't say it, no, no

Jack, Gibbs and Cotton: You swoon, you sigh

Why deny it, uh-oh

Elizabeth: It's too cliché

I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson

It feels so good when you start out

My head is screaming get a grip, girl

Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

Oh

Jack, Gibbs and Cotton: You keep on denying

Who you are and how you're feeling

Baby, we're not buying

Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling

Face it like a grown-up

When ya gonna own up

That ya got, got, got it bad

Elizabeth: No chance, no way

I won't say it, no, no

Jack and Gibbs: Give up, but give in

Cotton: Check the grin you're in love

Jack, Gibbs, and Elizabeth: O.o Cotton?!?!?! You can talk!!...You can sing!!

Cotton: _**(grin)**_

Elizabeth: _**(cough)**_ Ahem...

Jack, Gibbs, and Cotton: _**(run back to their places)**_

Elizabeth: Much better. _**(starts singing again)**_

Elizabeth: This scene won't play,

I won't say I'm in love

Jack, Gibbs and Cotton: You're doin flips read our lips

You're in love

**_(they do a little dance)_**

Jack: Shoo doo, shoo doo

Elizabeth: You're way off base

I won't say it

Gibbs: She won't say it

Elizabeth: Get off my case

Cotton: Shut up, shut up

Elizabeth: I won't say it

Will: (_creeps on deck_) O.o What the...? Since when can Cotton talk, let alone sing?!?!

Jack, Gibbs and Cotton: Girl, don't be proud

Its okay you're in love

Elizabeth: Oh

At least out loud,

I won't say I'm in love

Will: _**(backs away slowly)**_ I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see that...

**Well, there you have it. It didn't even take me that long to write either...damn you Aphy!! Please R&R. Thanks!**

**Oh yeah, one more thing. I need your help thinking up songs for the next chapters, so any help is much appreciated.**

**Sorry about the weirdness. I tried uploading the chapter, and the little asterisk thingys (I think that's what they're called) wouldn't work. -.-**

**Dracomyamazingbouncingferret**


	3. I'm Too Sexy

**Okay, so it once again only took me 10 minutes to write this..._ (shakes a fist) _Damn you Kelsey!**

**Okay, you had to know this was coming: Jack and Will singing I'm Too Sexy....**

****

Jack: Anamaria doesn't know it yet, but she wants me.

Will: O.o

Jack: Wha'? I'm sexy.

Will: Well, Elizabeth doesn't know it, but she is in love with me.

Jack: And I know just how to show our ladies how sexy we are

Will:Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Jack: O.- I think I am...

Will: Elizabeth! Anamaria!

Jack: Come 'eeeeere...we 'ave somethin' t' show you!

Elizabeth and Anamaria: **_(come on deck)_**

Anamaria: Wha' is it, Sparrow?

Will: I'm too sexy for my love

Too sexy for my love

Love's going to leave me

Elizabeth: I don't know them, I don't know them

Anamaria: **_(covers eyes)_**

Will: I'm too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy for my shirt

So sexy it hurts

**_(they start to strip)_**

Entire crew: Nooo!! Ahhh!! Keep it on! Please!

Will: And I'm too sexy for Milan

Too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan

Will: **_(pause) _**Do these places even exist yet?

Jack: **_(shrug) _**

Will: **_(shrug)_**

Jack: And I'm too sexy for your body

Too sexy for your body

The way I'm disco dancing

Anamaria: Disco is out!

Will: I'm a model, you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the plank

On the plank, on the plank, yeah

And I do my little turn on the plank

Jack: I'm too sexy for my ship

Too sexy for my ship

Too sexy, too hip **_(throws it away, dumping crew members overboard)_**

Gibbs: Men overboard! **_(runs to save them and falls overboard)_**

Jack: And I'm too sexy for my hat

Too sexy for my hat

Whatcha think about that? **_(throws it away and hits Cotton)_**

Cotton: Hey!

Will: **_(pushes Jack out of the way)_**

Hey! It's my turn!

Will: And I'm a model, you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the plank

Yeah, on the plank, on the plank, yeah

And I shake my little tush on the plank **_(shakes his tush)_**

Anamaria: **_(shudder)_**

Elizabeth: Woo! Go Will!

Anamaria: -.- I thought you were on my side...

Will: And I'm a model, you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the catwalk

Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah

And I shake my little tush on the catwalk

Jack: I'm too sexy for my cat

Too sexy for my cat

Poor pussy, poor pussy cat

Will: Do you even _have _a cat?

Jack: Nope!

Jack: And I'm too sexy for my love

Too sexy for my love

Love's going to leave me

Will and Jack: And I'm too sexy for this song!

Anamaria and Elizabeth: Thank you God! It's over....

_**(the music suddenly starts again)**_

Anamaria and Elizabeth: **_(look at each other in horror) _**AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **_(they run away)_**

Will and Jack: **_(look at each other confused) _**We were just kidding... **_(they shrug and keep dancing)_**

****

**Well, that's all for now! See the little blue button? Click it...that's right...keep going...move your mouse over a little...now click!**


	4. Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

Okay, so I was watching the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I've decided that this fic is gonna be somewhat like that…I mean, they're already randomly bursting into song, right?

"So…does anyone have any idea why we're randomly singing?" Will asked, a confused look on his face.

"No," the others said simultaneously.

"Okay," Will shrugged.

Later…

"Look at 'em, all lovey-dovey," Jack sighed, watching Will and Elizabeth. "I wan' somethin' like tha'…oh Anamaria!"

"Wha'?" -.-

Jack:  
I can see what's happening

Anamaria:

What?

Jack:  
And they don't have a clue

Anamaria:  
Who?

Jack:  
They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line  
Our trio's down to_… **(counts on his fingers)**_ two…(_**frowns)**_

**_(spoken)_** No, wait…one!

Anamaria:

Does someone need t' learn 'ow t' count?

Jack: -.-

Jus' ge' on wi' th' song!

Anamaria: pause

Oh right!

Oh…

_**(spoken)**_ I think it's a bit late for that.

Jack:

-.-  
_**(In a sarcastic mock-French accent)**_  
Ze sweet caress of twilight  
_**(Back to normal, but still sarcastic)**_  
There's magic everywhere  
And with all this romantic atmosphere  
Disaster's in the air!

Gibbs, Cotton **_(descant)_**:  
Can you feel the love tonight?  
The peace the evening brings  
The world, for once, in perfect harmony  
With all its living things **(A/N - Heehee I couldn't resist! )**

Will:  
So many things to tell her  
But how to make her see  
The truth about my past? Impossible!  
She'd turn away from me

Elizabeth:  
He's holding back, he's hiding  
But what, I can't decide  
Why won't he be the king I know he is  
The pirate I see inside?

Gibbs, Cotton **_(descant)_**:  
Can you feel the love tonight?  
The peace the evening brings  
The world, for once, in perfect harmony  
With all its living things  
Can you feel the love tonight?  
You needn't look too far  
Stealing through the night's uncertainties  
Love is where they are

Jack:  
And if he falls in love tonight  
It can be assumed

Anamaria:  
His carefree days with us are history

Jack and Anamaria:  
In short, our pals are doomed

Jack: No!

Anamaria: O.o

Jack: I am no' gonna le' that…wench take Will!

Anamaria: Uh…Jack?

Jack: Wha'?!

Anamaria: I…though' you liked Elizabeth…?

Jack: _**(pause, stalks off)**_

Well, that's all for now. I'm working on the next chapter for you guys as we speak…er…type…erm…Well, you get the point, right? Later days!


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE: IMPORTANT!

**Hey everybody! I am SO sorry for not updating this for such a long time, but since banned us from posting stories with song lyrics, it's kinda been pointless. There is more of this story, however, which will be posted in my Livejournal. Please go check it out!**

**Now then. On to reviews. I will most definitely try to get all of your guys' requests in. Thank you guys so much for being so supportive with this extremely random fic I just decided to write one day, forgot about, then decided to pick up agin. See you at Livejournal!**

**Much love,**

**Shannon (dramaqueenforlife)**

**Does anyone know how to post links? It doesn't seem to be working. Until I can figure it out, the link to my fics journal will be my homepage link. **


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